Carpe Diem
by kateg123
Summary: Jack feels lonelier than ever but when he sees the TARDIS and realises that the Doctor must be back what emotions will this produce in him? Does the Doctor even want to see him and what secrets has he been hiding? Slash Jack/10.


**This is Jack/10 which means there is slash. So if you don't like that sort of thing I would leave now.**

**To all you wonderful people who have me on author alert for my Jack/Gwen fics don't worry I'm still writing those this was written for Chloe who requested it.**

**Also Carpe Diem means 'seize the day' in Latin**

**Thanks to BobbieRae for thinking of the title**

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Jack looked around the Hub satisfied that all was in order and checking to make sure everyone had gone home. Once the hum of the computers had stopped silence fell over the large expanse of space. It seemed more oppressive than usual; even Myfanwy was silent up in her nest. Jack sometimes wondered if she ever got lonely. 

Getting restless in the heavy atmosphere Jack shrugged on his coat and headed out of the cog-door. Once he reached the fresh air he felt more refreshed but there was still a feeling of restlessness. Everyone was gone, they all had homes to go back to yet Jack was still there, still alone. And he knew there was only one person who could ever understand that feeling.

Wandering aimlessly for a while he wondered where exactly he was going. He had no home to go to and he couldn't really show up at his employee's houses asking for company…because that's all he wanted right now.

He walked past a number of pubs avoiding them; not wanting to be surrounded in the aimless flirting and drinking that went on in them. He wanted something more real.

Deciding that perhaps it was just a mood that he was experiencing and that it would pass, probably sooner with the help of that bottle of scotch he had stashed away in his office, he turned around and headed back to the Hub, his home.

On reaching the Millennium Centre he froze and his eyes widened. He couldn't move, he couldn't think because what he was seeing couldn't be real.

Sitting innocently almost insolently in the middle of the Plass was that familiar blue police box. The TARDIS.

And that could only mean one thing; he was here.

Jack sprinted over to it, feeling his heart pumping and his breath quicken in anticipation.

As soon as he reached it he banged on the door and yelled, "Doctor!"

He fumbled in his pocket for his key and remembered he had locked it in his safe along with all the other dangerous alien artefacts. He had felt it would be too dangerous to carry it around with him considering the job he had.

There was no reply from his yelling and he assumed the Doctor was elsewhere as although as much as he thought Jack was 'wrong' he wasn't one for avoiding people.

The only question was, where would the Doctor have gone in _Cardiff_?

There was no impending apocalypse as Torchwood would have picked that up on their scanners. Jack couldn't think of any other reason why the Doctor would be there. Unless the TARDIS had to refuel again, but that only took a few minutes. It was unlikely the Doctor would even step out of the TARDIS.

"Doctor!" He yelled again knowing it was futile…he could just tell. The Doctor wasn't in there.

Shoving his hands into his pockets he stood for a few minutes just staring at the TARDIS. It looked like a piece of home.

Eventually thinking it was time to return to the Hub, maybe scan for alien presence from there as the Doctor was alien after all he turned around blinking as he realised it was getting dark, the dusky sky threatening rain.

It seemed as if the weather was reflecting his gloomy mood. He should be elated, the Doctor was somewhere nearby! Why did he have a gnawing ache in his stomach then?

_Because he doesn't want to see me, he's not here._

Sighing to himself he turned around and walked in the direction of the monument which marked where the invisible lift was. He could see it directly ahead of him the stone where he would stand and become invisible to all watching. He smiled to himself, it was slightly ironic, he already felt completely invisible. Time just rushed past him and he spent everyday knowing he was going to outlive everyone he cared about.

He was nearly there when he more _felt_, than saw, someone step out of the shadows underneath the monument. His heart skipped a beat as he recognised the outline, the prominent nose, the scruffy hair, the ever present suit and converse.

"Hello Jack," the Doctor said quietly unlike his normal bubbly and cheerful persona.

Jack walked forward until they were standing opposite each other inches apart. The Doctor's eyes still had that familiar sparkle but, maybe it was just the depressing atmosphere getting to him, they seemed almost overcast. Like the sky just before a storm.

"Doctor," Jack said nodding his head slightly in acknowledgement.

It was as if the air between them was thick with unspoken questions and statements and they could both feel it.

"What are you doing here?" Was all Jack managed to ask.

The Doctor gestured randomly in the general direction of the TARDIS and said, "Had to refuel, she's gathering energy from the rift right now."

Jack nodded knowing the Doctor was leaving out the reason why he had left the TARDIS but he didn't want to ask, he was too scared of the answer.

There was silence for a few seconds as they stared at each other wondering what the other was thinking.

All Jack saw was the man he had loved since he had met him. He always seemed childlike in his wonder at what he saw but Jack knew there was a deeper side to him, one who, like him, saw eons pass in a breath and mourned on the inside for the lives which had been lost.

The Doctor saw the man he had at first thought was a brash con man, one who he would never trust. How things changed, he would trust his life with Jack now. He knew Jack had been through some hard times and it had definitely showed. He looked older, but this made him seem mature and solid, more dependable. It certainly didn't detract from his looks.

"How's the time travelling life?" Jack asked, "Have a new companion yet?"

"It's the…same," the Doctor replied, "and no, after Martha there was Donna but she couldn't handle it. She left after she saw the ten suns of Betelgeuse die out. I've been travelling alone for months now."

Jack saw the loneliness in the Doctors eyes and reached out a hand to comfort him but the Doctor shied away and burst out suddenly, "why didn't you come with me?"

Jack started shocked at the outburst; his hand dropped the gesture forgotten, "what?"

The Doctor looked down, his confident façade dropped for the moment, "If you had come with me none of this would have happened."

Jack was confused, "none of what?"

"None of these feelings Jack!"

"What are you talking about?" Jack pleaded, "Tell me Doctor it's okay."

The Doctor blinked and looked up his normal grin attached to his face and he clapped his hands saying, "Never mind Jack, I have business to attend to," he had already started running off, "So are you coming or not?"

Jack wasn't letting him off so easily though, he grabbed his hand and pulled him back so he was facing him again, he had been able to see the pain behind the Doctor's eyes when he had said that.

"Oh no you're not getting away Doctor; you came back for some reason. I'm guessing for me?"

The Doctor looked away but Jack held his chin and forced his head around to face him again, "you'll look me in the eyes when I'm telling the truth!"

Something flashed in the Doctor's eyes and he grabbed Jack's hand forcing it down but held onto it, "What's your problem? Are you coming or not? You don't get to pick and choose Jack. You might have your little team here who you pretend to have control over, oh yes I know all about them. They all think you're all-knowing but what would they do if they found out that you know _nothing_! You're a fraud Jack and you know it."

Jack blinked at the onslaught but feeling the warmth of the Doctor's hand still in his he said, "I didn't _leave _you if that's what you're thinking! I had a responsibility here and I had to see it through, this team, they mean more to me than you'll ever know and _maybe _they don't know my whole past but that suits them fine and they know enough!"

Jack was panting wondering where the frustration had come from.

"Do you think they would look up to you so much if they knew your past?" The Doctor said viciously.

"Of course not," Jack replied trying to keep calm, "that's why I tell them only what they absolutely need to know."

"So you have a real great relationship with them then do you?" The Doctor smirked.

"What's it to you? Why are you bothered all of a sudden?" Jack demanded leaning in trying to see what else was lurking in his eyes.

They were inches apart staring daggers at each other, Jack could feel the Doctor trying to release his hand from Jack's grip by their side but he wouldn't let it. Damnit! The Doctor might want to avoid the issue but he was getting straight to the matter whether he liked it or not.

"Because," the Doctor hissed and Jack could feel his breath on his lips, "because I wanted you to come with me."

Jack saw the honesty in his eyes and was sure the Doctor was reading only confusion in his. Was he admitting what Jack thought he was admitting?

"Doctor?" Jack whispered tentatively

The Doctor finally released his hand and crying out frustrated, "godamnit Jack!" He clasped Jack's head in his hands and pulled it forward crashing his lips against Jacks.

Their lips melded together instantly, tongues slipping in and fighting against each other. It wasn't soft or gentle it was a battle for dominance and neither was winning.

Jack brought his hands up and let them trace the outline of the other man's body feeling the Doctor do that same unaware of any feelings except pure passion and elation.

This was it. This was what he needed to fill up that ache inside of him. Someone who understood him.

The Doctor pulled away breathlessly and grabbing Jack's hand he said commandingly, "Right so yours or mine?"

Jack considered the options with a grimace; an alien spaceship or a secret underground base?

Well he had done it in weirder places. Shrugging he said, "As long as you're there it doesn't matter."

The darkness which surrounded them seemed less oppressive now and as the Doctor pulled him along behind him Jack allowed himself to grin as abundant joy rose up inside him.

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**Hope you all enjoyed. Please review if you can be bothered. It would mean a lot.**


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